It could be the extra holiday calories I've been consuming or the small number of hours I've been sleeping these past few days because of parties. It could also be the onset of a looming flu. Whatever it is the full-marathon I (horribly) finished not one month ago is a distant past.

This evening, I decided to break the routine of reading my self to sleep while binging on a half-innocent snack. I gave in to a lot of sweet pleasures this holiday thinking I could reward myself this month for finishing my first marathon. I rewarded myself, unconsciously. The decision was not made. It just happened. Thinking on hindsight, I don't deserve this reward at all. I didn't tighten my belt all that much in the weeks that lead to the marathon. In fact, the carbo-loading I had the night before the big day was really just a license to eat the same amounts I'd normally eat anyway.

To think that I did finish--and even hold my head up high til half of the marathon--is nothing short of a miracle, because today, not only could I not do one round on the running tracks without losing my breath, my muscles also felt severely fatigued because of it. I really wish it's just the flu. The feeling is identical. It's just that the flu-feeling is only evident in my legs and arms. My respiratory system and the rest of my body seems fine.

Boy do I have a lot of work to do. This is the perfect sentiment to have a few days before new year; the perfect mindset to have before I work on my 2011 road map.

Great comebacks aren't exclusive to legends like Michael Jordan. Smalltime runners like me or like us could give it a go too. But, minus world class facilities, professional coaching and state of the art technology, who's to say what kind of setbacks we are to expect?

I haven't been running for two months (maybe more). It started--or rather the running ended--after a combination of a minor flu and the achievement of my first 21K race. Yes, pride before fall. I promised myself that I'll always keep running a tri-weekly regiment in my life. Running has kept my stubborn ass leashed, my dark destroyer at bay and my head leveled. I made that solemn promise to running before the sweat from my 21K race has even dried up. But the next time my shirt was drenched in sweat came months later. I'm trying to fix that by doing a come-back, God help me!

The problems with comebacks are numerous. You can't run the same distance. You can't run with the same speed. You have the distance benchmarked without the stamina to back it up. You have the psychological advantage but it seems you have a new but lamer body. There's no better formula for disappointment. You'll either push yourself too hard and fail, or worse end up injured. Mostly, it's the latter.

When you try to start running again, your body is like Jason Bourne. No, you don't get the martial arts skills executed to practical perfection. Sadly, those aren't the traits you inherit. Your body is like Jason Bourne cuz your body is experiencing all these oddly familiar sensations without quite knowing what they are, yet. You're trying to figure things out. You are trying to reacquaint yourself with your body.

Especially if you are used to long distance running, and you stop, your body develops amnesia. It forgets it used to be sustain pain at such long hours. Imagine that quizzical look Bourne had, but on your body as you try to push it back in shape. This is nerve-wrecking, trust me.

Fresh Inspiration
What I decided we'll need is fresh inspiration. It doesn't mean we have to discard old inspirations. It simply means we'll have to refresh their meanings to us.

I am an emotional runner. My long runs are usually accompanied by tears just as they are by sweat. I have a number of poems and movie quotes that I recite (sometimes, declare) to myself with gusto, during a run. Occasionally, I have bite-size memories too that fuel me like snack bars minus the calories. When I summon them in my head while running, I get to breeze through challenges like Mario breezes through stages when he gets those blinking stars and the ta-dat-dat-dat soundtrack begins.

This is the evidence that when I run I'm not running away from my past. Cuz I bring my history along with me on the road. In fact, my past, whether good or bad, fuels me to move forward. Things has always been more painful, I realize. Running is a mere memorial.

A New Beginning
The only good thing going with comebacks is the chance to break free of bad running habits. If you've always wanted to correct your running form, your breathing or your running schedule, but you find it too hard because you are so used to it, fret no more. You've already broken your consistency, you are trying to restart a new schedule, might as well outfit it with proper forms, schedules and habits. Having had a fair amount of experience, now is your chance to give yourself the kind of start you would have had if you only knew better.

In my case, I know my mildly flat foot is over-pronating and over striding. My knees suffered because of this and I helped it by surrounding it with strong muscles. But I knew I wasn't going far with an error in my stride. I'm doing this comeback with fresh knowledge from Chi Running. I highly recommend this.

A New Road, A New Vehicle
Lastly, nothing inspires a runner better than a route and a fresh new pair of shoes. I got myself Mizuno shoes. I love 'em. Japanese Technology. Engineered to perfection specifically for my type of feet.

I've also been varying my routes. I get myself lost 20 percent of the time but that's alright. The discovery is important cuz discovery is exactly what comeback runners need. The discovery of something we've always had. A love for something we never lost.

Lastly, take care and don't be too hard on yourself. Your goal shouldn't be to get yourself running the same mileage you used to, but rather to fall in love with running all over again. Later you'll realize, you started running not because you had running goals. You started running cuz you loved it. Let your love for it bring you back.

If you are like me, you love the sound of your feet pounding the pavement. Sadly, I've been stuck running like a hamster lately. I used to despise running on a treadmill. At one point, I could run two hours on winding foot paths until my knees hurt and still crave for more, and just run 5 minutes maximum on a treadmill. And after 300 hundred seconds--golly, that's the 5 minute equivalent--I'd get down and look around to wonder why nobody is applauding my valiant run. Running on a treadmill gives me the creeps, the same kind I get when I need to have a dentist work on my once forsaken molar.

Things changed after an article I read (from quick and dirty tips get fit guy) about the efficacy of mixing resistance with cardio workouts to lose weight.

A 2008 study at the University of California asked this very question, and had one group do cardio, another group do resistance training, and a final group do a concurrent training workout in which they ran for 30-60 seconds after completing each weight lifting set.

Even though each group did the same amount of work, the combination group experienced the following:

• a 35% greater improvement in lower body strength,
• a 53% greater improvement in lower body endurance,
• a 28% greater improvement in lower body flexibility,
• a 144 % greater improvement in upper body flexibility,
• an 82% greater improvement in muscle gains, and
• a 991 % greater loss in fat mass!

Did you see that? That was a whopping nine-hundred-ninety-one percent! That's close to ten times more effective loss in fat mass. I'm not really trying to lose weight. I just like running. But if I could lose the extra tub of fat around my waist--like the love handles that nobody loves or the flab in front providing the unnecessary aerodynamics--I ask why not? And while the same article provided cardio and resistance workouts that you could do in the comfort of your home, I decided to follow the routines he provided for the gym. I am also following a tip from another episode about how to get the best results from a treadmill, never having an incline lower than 2.5%. The idea behind this is the body is already very used to running. It is trying to be optimally. Trying to use as little energy as possible. But getting an incline in there makes it uncomfortable. We don't run on inclined gradients very often.

The result is increased resistance taking the bore out of the treadmill. So treadmill running could be a satisfying workout after all. Some of the other benefits a runner might get from running like a hamster that he won't get running outdoors might include:

• You can catch the evening news, while on a treadmill. This means you can do two things at the same time. If you had a home machine, you could also choose to use this time to watch other things that you need for your day job. Like presentations, documentaries or other things of the sort.
• You don't have to worry about the weather.
• You can work on your speed.
• You can work on your form.

I was once cooling down at the gym, and I saw ESPN's coverage of the Tokyo marathon. I saw the last 2 kilometers of the race winner and I was soo inspired.

Their was a leading pack made up of different races (by saying races here I meant races as in human genetic races), all colors represented. But there were two nationalities standing out, the ethiopians and the japanese. Everyone in the leading pack were competitive. They were tightly knit. They all ran close together, never letting anyone run ahead of the rest by more than two feet. None of them wanted to get left behind. An imaginary string attached to their waists kept them all together. And their faces were all close to crying. I swear I could feel their pain through the screen!

Then they passed the forty kilometer mark. They were just above 2 hours. Just 2 clicks more. All of a sudden they start throwing things on the ground, like visors, shades, belts and all other non-essentials they had on them. They threw with force, like boom!!! Games faces were on, as if the current suffering they've been enduring isn't enough yet. Then the group starts breaking up. My gawd!!! I was stading there beside the hamsters, close to crying myself! The face of the leader was screaming in pain! My golly! I was glued! What a run!

The awarding ceremony started immediately after the race. A Japanese guy won.

On a small corner of the screen, there was another panel showing what another camera was covering. There was a japanese lady who's legs just gave up around 36 kilometers. She just started walking and her legs bent like jello. Then she stood up. Crying, I bet. Hunched. Her hands were on her legs to support her and probably also to either heal them of their misery or affect them emotionaly with touch of concern.

Then she started walking again, wobbly. She fell again. All this was happening while the first placer was receiving his medal. I wanted to shout "Never give up!!! Never give up!!! Never give up!!!" But the only ones who'd hear me will be the hamsters running on the treadmill.

I just had an epiphany. I want to run 60 miles, in the Philippines, in re-enactment of an epic event in my country's History, the Bataan Death March.

The march, involving the forcible transfer of 75,000 American and Filipino prisoners of war[1] captured by the Japanese in the Philippines from the Bataan peninsula to prison camps, was characterized by wide-ranging physical abuse and murder, and resulted in very high fatalities inflicted upon the prisoners and civilians along the route by the armed forces of the Empire of Japan. Beheadings, cutting of throats and casual shootings were the more common actions—compared to instances of bayonet stabbing, rape, disembowelment, rifle butt beating and a deliberate refusal to allow the prisoners food or water while keeping them continually marching for nearly a week in tropical heat. Falling down or inability to continue moving was tantamount to a death sentence, as was any degree of protest.

Prisoners were attacked for assisting someone falling due to weakness, or for no reason whatsoever. Strings of Japanese trucks were known to drive over anyone who fell. Riders in vehicles would casually stick out a rifle bayonet and cut a string of throats in the lines of men marching alongside the road. Accounts of being forcibly marched for five to six days with no food and a single sip of water are in postwar archives including filmed reports.

The exact death count is impossible to determine, but some historians have placed the minimum death toll between six and eleven thousand men; other postwar Allied reports have tabulated that only 54,000 of the 72,000 prisoners reached their destination—taken together, the figures document a rate of death from one in four up to two in seven of those on the death march. The number of deaths that took place in the internment camps from the delayed effects of the march is considerably more.

Learn more about the Bataan Death March from wikipedia.

When I was a kid, my mom would tell me my "lolo" (grandfather in filipino), a colonel for the Philippine Army, was supporting a soldier similar to what the statues are doing in this picture.

Why do I run? One of my mentors once asked me, if I had the chance to know the exact time and date I'll perish from this planet, how would I choose to spend those moments? I thought long and hard. Others offered their own answers. They go for the usual saying goodbye in the arms of the people they love.

My answer was non-conventional. I said before the appointed time, I'll already say my goodbyes. After which, I'll run--not jog, but run--as fast as I can. You could say run towards meeting my Creator. But my real reason is I want to deplete my body of all energy so that at the precise time of death, nothing He gave is wasted.

I wasn't a runner then. When I gave this answer, I have yet to run my first mile. But the idea of consuming all earthly energy seemed to me a good way to pass away. Kick the bucket when it's empty.

Running is physical, no doubt. But there is a spiritual aspect to it that eludes many a philosopher's understanding since time immemorial.

Take Dean Karnazes for example. Pissed at life, he decided to hurt himself. He ran. He was reckless with his body. Imagine using Krazy Glue to secure your blisters and and open wounds! The problem is, unlike us, the body doesn't return evil with evil. The more Dean ran, the better he felt. So he ran more and became a better person.

Partly, the reason I started running was because I was angry at myself for failing at the one thing I shouldn't have. I hurt the one person I cared the most about. I disappointed so many who care about me. They still love me, but things will never be the same.

I run because I want to go back in time and make the planet spin in reverse the same way Superman did in Richard Donner's 1978 blockbuster. Or if not, maybe I could at least run back home to the people I love. Two thousand three hundred ninety one kilometers. I've run a hundred fifty-eight kilometers since I started in December, I still need two thousand, two hundred and thirty-three left.

I signed up for two competitions--a 16k Northeast Run and the half-marathon in Sundown Marathon. I entered myself not to win but so I could run the distance. It may seem dumb and stupid to think that by running the distance between Manila and Singapore, I'll be home. But it was precisely my lack in resolution--strengthened in running--that started this whole back slide. Running makes me tough.

Just like Dean Karnazes, I am angry at myself. I'll run to my death if I have to. But one thing is for sure, I will not stop.

I've been running 2 to 4 times a week for two months now. I started going to the gym on alternate days. I've dropped some pounds. But I've also killed parts of me that held me back. I look forward to running the minute I wake up. It keeps me going. Just a couple thousand more kilometers to go.

Even if it seems I'm going around in circles, one day I'll reach home.

Today, the eve of Chinese New Year, me and my friends planned a 12KM run that became just 8 but it was well worth it. Today is also the birthday of Kuya Ariel, the guy who out runs everyone almost every time we workout. We ran in his home turf, Bedok Reservoir. This made our run beautiful! No cars, no stoplights, scenic environment, clean air, classic sunset. I was first to arrive and my first impression was this place is runner's heaven. Look at that!

The picture I gathered was from wikipedia. That's how gloomy it could be with a storm threatening it. When I first saw it, it was close to sunset. It was breathtaking!

One round is about 4.3 kilometers. The tracks are covered with sand, absorbing most of the impact coming from your feet. This is great for most shoes. But I was using my lunar glides. These shoes are supposed to make it seem like I'm running on the moon. Running on sand sorta makes it look like you are on the moon, making the lunar gliders redundant. It was an effort for me to run on the sand. I had to run on the skirts of the track where the beaten grass lay.

I had side-stitches. I blame the super-dog I had an hour before the run. Next time, I'll stick to yoghurt and/or fruit juices.

I am officially registered in the Sundown Marathon 2010. Whheeewwww!!!! Not for a 42 kilometer run. I'm not ready for that. I registered for the half-marathon. And even for that, the 5 months of running I've had might not be enough. Yes, I am scared. But I've always been scared whenever we venture into a longer than normal run. The initial fear makes the run special.

According to the McMillan Running Calculator--even though I haven't run as far as 21 kilometers ever--if I do, I'll be able to finish in 2 hours and 48 minutes (and 16 seconds). I could hardly believe that. I hope they didn't just get my speed and use that to see how fast I'd be able to run my 21km. They are supposed to calculate my finish time while considering my definite slow down because of the distance.

I scoured the internet for a training guide. To date, we've got just a couple days over a hundred before the big day. 29-5-2010. That's not much time. Things have to go serious. I found the training guide that best suites me. The ULTIMATE HALF-MARATHON TRAINING PLAN from Runners World Online. It has profiles for all sorts of runners, from beginners to seasoned runners.

It's a nine week program. Rest days already scheduled in.

The only pre-requisite for 21km runners is weekly mileage of 30 miles. I could work my way up to that. And I'm gonna have to follow the nine week schedule exactly. This is a make or break thing.

The strict and detailed regiment is important for a beginner like me. I've no one to tell me when I'm over training or when I'm being too soft on my self. I remember when I had someone training me in weight lifting. He would give instructions, tell me which exercises to do. I would always respond with how heavy should I carry? The reply I would always get is whatever it is you are comfortable with. How I wish I know the answer to that question.

In the training routine from runners world, it'll be easy for you to judge which profile you belong to. All you need to do is check your weekly mileage and how long have you been running. Once you've done that, you'll see that for every profile, they have training routines that would allow the runner to have the best possible run he could have come race day. They've got speed workouts and endurance workouts. For advance runners, they have all sorts of different workouts that train speed, pace, endurance and I don't know what else. In other routines in the net, I've seen Striders, Tempo Runs, Lactate Level Runs and etc...

Personally, I love the new jargon. Especially so because they could all be related to something all runners and non-runners have alike--LIFE.

Yesterday's run was a short one. Just 8 KM for our team's usual Tuesday night 12+ runs. We decided, to ensure the future of our running endeavors, we needed to first secure another endeavor we have in life, specifically the endeavor that finances our running, our daytime jobs. And as much as we enjoy running--in fact, continually adding the numbers every week--we've been going home later and later on Tuesday nights. Not a very good thing, considering we pride ourselves for setting good examples for our fellow country men.

Our decision was not an all reduction policy, though. Dropping our 12K Tuesday to just 8 is really just part of the story. Our Tuesday nights was redubbed, "maintenance night." Eight kilometers, we think, should be enough to keep the blood flowing until our "New Day of Reckoning," Saturday. That's when we go for kill. And because we our not bound to stay at work til after 7pm, we could start early. Maybe before the Sun is down. My excitement does not waver one bit.

Last night, knowing our run was a short one, I left no reservations. On multiple times, approching intersections I saw the blinking green man. I'd normally slow down and allow myself to wait for the next one, resting a little bit. Last night, I always ran for it. Sprint! A couple of times, in fact, the red man appeared while I was right at the middle of the road. But that's fine. Civilized countries give pedestrians more lee-way than others.

And towards the end of the last kilometer, I decided to speed up. It was the first time I realized how much energy I had left. So I gave it my all, sprinted for about 200-300 meters (after about 7 kilometers already) top speed. It was so fulfilling! I was so happy for myself. I finished with an average pacing of 7 and a half minutes per kilometer. I'm so so so happy!!!

This morning while wearing my socks I saw all the shoes I had. They were all either grey, black, or black and white. The first ever pair I bought since I've been staying here in Singapore that has color are my new Nike Lunar Gliders. That it over there in the picture above.

I bought the pair specifically because my 80kg weight was giving me hell when I run. I was using PUMA's, 173 gram shoes, LIFT. It was light. Really light! But I needed cushioning for my running. I spent 3 days in agony, my feet's soles felt bruised blue, learning the lesson. I bought my new runners before the pain in my soles left and not two days after that I was back on the road running.
LIFTs were never really designed for running. They are more street-fashion shoes, I think (don't quote me on this, I'm really unsure). So when my feet were crying in pain, the Nike's ad came to mind, "actually, it is rocket science." Their ads were all men and women running. It was a beckon call.

They did not disappoint! Lunar Glides are wonderful!!! My only qualm is the cushion I get from the shoes subtract from my leg's power. This was made apparent when I saw that my fastest run 10k+ run was the same run with my LIFTs. But I'm never going back to them, not even for short runs. The soles lack the necessary profile to provide grip on the road. When I'm walking, and the surface I'm on is ever so slightly slippery, I look like a kid trying to learn how to skate. It's so funny. I have to take really small steps really slowly, otherwise I end up all over the place.

In a poetic point of view, pain acted as my catalyst to better shoes. They have color now. They slow me down, but it's better this way. I am protected by better cushioning. Life is about keeping yourself protected. It's so much better this way.