It could be the extra holiday calories I've been consuming or the small number of hours I've been sleeping these past few days because of parties. It could also be the onset of a looming flu. Whatever it is the full-marathon I (horribly) finished not one month ago is a distant past.

This evening, I decided to break the routine of reading my self to sleep while binging on a half-innocent snack. I gave in to a lot of sweet pleasures this holiday thinking I could reward myself this month for finishing my first marathon. I rewarded myself, unconsciously. The decision was not made. It just happened. Thinking on hindsight, I don't deserve this reward at all. I didn't tighten my belt all that much in the weeks that lead to the marathon. In fact, the carbo-loading I had the night before the big day was really just a license to eat the same amounts I'd normally eat anyway.

To think that I did finish--and even hold my head up high til half of the marathon--is nothing short of a miracle, because today, not only could I not do one round on the running tracks without losing my breath, my muscles also felt severely fatigued because of it. I really wish it's just the flu. The feeling is identical. It's just that the flu-feeling is only evident in my legs and arms. My respiratory system and the rest of my body seems fine.

Boy do I have a lot of work to do. This is the perfect sentiment to have a few days before new year; the perfect mindset to have before I work on my 2011 road map.