Why do I run? One of my mentors once asked me, if I had the chance to know the exact time and date I'll perish from this planet, how would I choose to spend those moments? I thought long and hard. Others offered their own answers. They go for the usual saying goodbye in the arms of the people they love.

My answer was non-conventional. I said before the appointed time, I'll already say my goodbyes. After which, I'll run--not jog, but run--as fast as I can. You could say run towards meeting my Creator. But my real reason is I want to deplete my body of all energy so that at the precise time of death, nothing He gave is wasted.

I wasn't a runner then. When I gave this answer, I have yet to run my first mile. But the idea of consuming all earthly energy seemed to me a good way to pass away. Kick the bucket when it's empty.

Running is physical, no doubt. But there is a spiritual aspect to it that eludes many a philosopher's understanding since time immemorial.

Take Dean Karnazes for example. Pissed at life, he decided to hurt himself. He ran. He was reckless with his body. Imagine using Krazy Glue to secure your blisters and and open wounds! The problem is, unlike us, the body doesn't return evil with evil. The more Dean ran, the better he felt. So he ran more and became a better person.

Partly, the reason I started running was because I was angry at myself for failing at the one thing I shouldn't have. I hurt the one person I cared the most about. I disappointed so many who care about me. They still love me, but things will never be the same.

I run because I want to go back in time and make the planet spin in reverse the same way Superman did in Richard Donner's 1978 blockbuster. Or if not, maybe I could at least run back home to the people I love. Two thousand three hundred ninety one kilometers. I've run a hundred fifty-eight kilometers since I started in December, I still need two thousand, two hundred and thirty-three left.

I signed up for two competitions--a 16k Northeast Run and the half-marathon in Sundown Marathon. I entered myself not to win but so I could run the distance. It may seem dumb and stupid to think that by running the distance between Manila and Singapore, I'll be home. But it was precisely my lack in resolution--strengthened in running--that started this whole back slide. Running makes me tough.

Just like Dean Karnazes, I am angry at myself. I'll run to my death if I have to. But one thing is for sure, I will not stop.

I've been running 2 to 4 times a week for two months now. I started going to the gym on alternate days. I've dropped some pounds. But I've also killed parts of me that held me back. I look forward to running the minute I wake up. It keeps me going. Just a couple thousand more kilometers to go.

Even if it seems I'm going around in circles, one day I'll reach home.